I've spoken to a fair few guys over the past couple of months, and…
I’ve written a few articles on mindset before; Alpha Males, self-confidence, the solution-oriented mindset and self-improvement. They have always performed well in terms of pageviews and also Google traffic, so they must be popular. Today, I will talk about the dominant mindset.
In those posts linked above, I gave examples of guys who:
- Were negative, and never looked for solutions to problems
- Were scared to take their shirts off at the beach
- Were walked over by women
- Had no self-confidence
- Had no emotional control and were very quick to anger
The dominant, Alpha Male mindset requires positivity, self-confidence, and dominance over your own life – not domineering, which is essentially seeking to control others. In it’s simplest form, dominance is the ability to influence your environment to your liking.
If you don’t have this mindset as a guy, it will be much more difficult to hit your fitness goals and to maintain them. You need self-confidence and a long-term vision to have any hope of maintaining fitness results over the long-haul. Only a dominant man has both.
How To Get The Dominant Mindset
The fascinating thing about people in a “slump”, or are depressed, or under-confident, is that the deeper you are, the harder it is to get out. The human condition is one that it gets used to where it is, and it will try to do everything it can to remain where it is, even if the logical brain knows it’s a truly horrendous place to be.
I’ve known a few people who were clinically diagnosed with depression in the past. The one thing in common they seemed to have was that they were absolutely unwilling to help themselves. They identified with themselves as “depressed”, almost like it was a part of who they were, which it wasn’t; it was merely a temporary state. Therefore they never even tried to change.
Although depression is an extreme example, the same principles still apply – if you don’t have the dominant mindset already, then it’s likely that either:
A) You do want to get it, but don’t know how to, or more worryingly;
B) You don’t even want to help yourself, and would rather remain under-confident, unhappy, and weak, even though the logical part of your brain knows it’s really not good.
Therefore, if I was to say “You must start doing X, Y and Z immediately, then follow up with A, B and C” then you would become easily overwhelmed and it wouldn’t work. Therefore we must start small, and build up from there. Starting small gives you the best hope of becoming dominant over time. Then as your confidence grows, you can take on bigger challenges…
The TRUE Cause Of The Dominant Mindset
What causes a genuine dominant mindset is always overcoming challenges. Personal challenges. And the best way to do this is to set long-term goals for yourself, then shorter goals derived from them.
If you are in a deep slump, then ignore the long-term part. All you need to do is set some very simple daily challenges. Just take it ONE DAY AT A TIME. These may include:
- Making your bed
- Going for a 20 minute walk
- Not eating pizza
- Writing an email
- Eating a couple of portions of fruit
- Eating a chicken breast
These may sound really simple, and they are, but people who are in a deep slump must start off with tiny challenges and take it ONE DAY AT A TIME. Then the next, day set yourself another target. Then the next day do the same.
For those who are not in a slump, you can start making long-term plans and goals, then start powering your way towards them, using short-term “check-points” to use as reference points. I like to have these “check-points” on a monthly basis, but it’s up to you. My monthly targets include things such as:
- PR’s in the gym on the big compound movements (when lean-bulking, not cutting)
- Blog traffic
- Email subscribers
- Money saved/invested
- Pilot flying hours/research/competency tests performed
and these ultimately lead towards my long-term plans. Achieving them consistently makes you very, very confident, and dominant.
On top of setting long-term plans for yourself, there are other things you can do for yourself to boost your dominant mindset. The above examples are all personal targets I have for myself outside of work. I have a job too.
It’s also important to make a habit of seeking challenges to overcome whilst in work.
Career/business success is probably the biggest source of dominance in men, probably more so than sexual success and fitness success (although all three are huge, and you need at least two in my opinion). Therefore you would be wise to capitalise on this. Again though, start off small and build up gradually.
It’s all about setting goals and challenges for yourself. Always start off small, then build up to bigger and greater things over time. Over time, they can become bigger, more ambitious, more meaningful, and consequently, they will become more rewarding.
Overcome challenges, and you will become more dominant.
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