I’ve never presented my information in this way before, and I believe a step-by-step…
This article was inspired by this one by Masculine Millenials, which has some great points in it, largely in relation to other people. I agree with it all, however I think there are a few tweaks required for Men Over 40, as you will have more family and personal commitments than younger guys will, so you need to be more careful about this stuff.
Let’s get into it.
Men Over 40 Need To Lose Weight
Your priority is to lose weight. I promise you that it will change your life, particularly if you couple this with gaining muscle. Because there are so few Men Over 40 that actually look good, it will make you truly stand out from the rest. You will be a remarkable person.
You need to address these in the following order:
- Create a diet structure that you will stick to. This means no stupid fad diets, no Keto, no Paleo, but utilise a sustainable system such as Intermittent Fasting with coffee.
- Create a training plan that you will stick to. 3 times per week full body will do perfectly.
- Make sure you start off light with the cardio, and leave room to increase the duration and frequency.
- Sort your sleep out.
- Sort your testosterone out.
Sleep and testosterone are critical, but you will make a significant improvement to both (usually) by focusing on points 1-3.
Masculine Millenials talked about what you should expect in this 1 year journey. He included:
- Leaving people behind
- Not talking about your journey
Whilst I completely agree with the last three points for Men Over 40, I know that solitude is not in your best interests, even if you are very focused on self-improvement. Men Over 40 (35 actually) have a very strong biological urge to “settle down” that younger men don’t have. This isn’t just with a special woman either, this need for stability comes in various forms; location stability of a home base, income stability, kids (possibly).
So it’s different for older guys. Therefore, more care needs to be taken with this stuff – you can’t just abandon everyone like a younger guy theoretically could. Instead, I would just stick to accepting discomfort and keeping your plans to yourself. No good comes from telling everyone your plans. Honestly, there is no need – keep them to yourself. You can definitely lose weight, grow a business on the side of your full-time job, and find new hobbies without telling the world and his mother about it.
You also need to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
- Knowing what it feels like to eat at a caloric deficit
- Stop having your morning latte
- Stop having your take-away Friday
- Start eating healthier lunches
- Stop binge watching TV and Netflix
- Wake up earlier
You can have comforts, but not at the expense of your fitness and your fat loss. I’ve also spoken before about the danger of being too comfortable, and that if you want to look good, have the sex life of your dreams and MAINTAIN THIS, and progress in your career, you can’t afford to be comfortable. It’s an unacceptable condition for a man to be in.
One of the big differences between older guys and younger guys is the stark contrast between their attitudes towards other people. Younger guys tend to say:
“Screw everyone else, you are better off doing things alone. You must ruthlessly eliminate people from your life who aren’t 100% supportive of your journey.”
Whereas, older guys will say something along the lines of:
“Other people are the only thing that matters. Money is meaningless, fitness is meaningless, sex is meaningless. Human connections are all that matter.”
Obviously in both cases you have people rationalising their own circumstances and their own needs that currently are NOT being met.
Younger men have a strong need for progression and personal power. They don’t tend to get lonely easily (compared to their equivalent personalities, but 20 years senior), so other people aren’t always a huge concern for them. Whereas older men often have their personal power (competency) needs met, but they get lonely very easily. So they talk about how important other people are, completely forgetting about personal growth etc. and how well this served them in the past, and how screwed they would be without it.
So what’s the point of all this?
Be aware that as Men Over 40, you need other people. I believe you can pursue your goals aggressively without cutting off other people. The key is to be selective about what information you release to whom. This will minimise the backlash you get from jealous people who don’t want you to change.
Do Something You’re Passionate About
Masculine Millenials talked in his article about “Creating Something You’re Passionate About”. I would say that you don’t necessarily need to create something, just simply do something that you enjoy.
One of the most common problems among older guys is a lack of purpose. They feel like there’s nothing else for them to do. They’ve hit a dead-end in their careers and no longer enjoy things they used to when they were younger. This causes them to focus on unproductive things, argue with others over meaningless crap, and justify all kinds of laziness and excuses.
It also, funnily enough, makes them more lonely more easily.
Having something that you do on a regular basis that you’re passionate about alleviates so many other problems. It’s not optional, it’s necessary. It makes you:
- Less lonely
- More excited
- Less tolerant of crappy relationships where you’re arguing about stupid stuff
- More outcome independent
- More confident
I’ve written before about how all men need a long-term mission, with goals that are steps towards this. This mission may well take your entire life to achieve, as it’s a long-term vision for yourself that doesn’t really have a definitive end point.
If you want to level up your life significantly in 12 months without telling everyone else to fuck off, you need to:
- Lose weight (without telling everyone)
- Eliminate most of your comforts
- Do something on a regular basis that you’re passionate about
Get to work 🙂