Get Ripped And Stay Ripped – Insights From Women: Part 1

Posted on June 20, 2018 in Alpha, Cutting, Diet, Happiness, Health, Looks, Women

 

Long-term fat loss
Credit for this picture goes to www.rljones.co.uk. Whitney, this could be you…if you stopped blaming society and took responsibility for your actions.

 

This blog post and its’ sequel are going to be commentary’s/analyses of this Ted Talk by Whitney Thore. She is extremely obese and has been for a while now. This video is an excellent insight into the mindset that causes weight gain in many people, and the rationalisations that go through a persons mind. I’m going to look at some of the problems in this video and see what we can all learn from it.

 

Note: Before we start, I want to say that obviously shaming someone for their weight is a horrendous thing to do, and not only is it nasty and vindictive, but people should have better things to do than verbally abuse someone because of their weight. This is obvious, but I just want to clarify for newer readers.

 

How Not To Empower Yourself

 

Back in 1997, Whitney was in the locker room at school. From my understanding, there came a moment whereby the girls were required to weigh themselves, and Whitney flushed with embarrassment in response to (assumingly) weighing more than her colleagues.

 

Then she showed a picture of her 1997 self on the screen….and she wasn’t remotely fat. Therefore, how could she be embarrassed when there was nothing to be embarrassed about? Doesn’t really make sense, does it?

 

I can tell you for a fact that my self-confidence as a teenager wasn’t particularly high. It was pretty damn average. I was confident when it came to sitting exams and doing academic related stuff. I was confident on the football pitch and doing just about any athletics or sports. But I wasn’t remotely confident when it came to social environments or girls or anything like that.

 

In fact, I believe this lack of inter-personal confidence acted as one of my primary motives for going to the gym all those years ago; wanting so badly to “just gain a bit of muscle”.

 

This is the polar opposite of how Whitney responded…

 

“After that incident, the emotion I associated with my body was shame. Shame followed me everywhere like a shadow.”

 

Yep, you were severely under-confident, and unfortunately, the darker side of human nature can be that certain personalities prey on weakness. This is especially true during high-school, but it still holds true to some extent during adulthood.

 

Now, how do we eliminate weakness and empower ourselves? Hint: it is NOT what poor young Whitney did:

 

“I knew I had to act…..so I grabbed my Father’s toothbrush and shoved it down my throat….and there began my lifelong journey of eating disorders.”

 

On a slight tangent, that’s precisely why I never recommend “making up for it” after a dieting screw-up, as the cycle tends to be a negative one that you don’t have the willpower to overcome. Just relax, calm down, and take a methodical approach. Start again tomorrow. Relax.

 

No, the real way to empower yourself is to set goals, achieve them and conquer.

 

I don’t care what the current social narrative is on achievement and self-confidence in our weak and entitled culture, the truth of the matter is; PERSONAL POWER IS DERIVED FROM PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENT. Not running away from your problems, blaming other people and/or stuffing your face with copious quantities of food.

 

I know that seems too simple for people to wrap their little brains around, but it’s that simple. Empowerment doesn’t come from bitching, moaning and complaining. That’s fake. That’s just “rah-rah” and emoting. Real mental strength comes from personal success from the past, and in the present moment.

 

In her case, it would come from:

 

  • Fitness goals
  • Relationships/man goals
  • Career goals
  • Family goals
  • Travel goals

 

And I can guarantee that if her teenage self did reasonably well across those areas, she would not look anything like she does now. That is, she wouldn’t be life-threateningly obese.

 

The Greatest Killer Of The Human Mind – An External Locus Of Control

 

I feel sorry for Whitney, and I know that bullying is a horrible thing. I realise that the human condition is one which tends to focus on and magnify negative emotions when it does experience them. But it’s a bad habit that we all must get rid of.

 

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING she says, either directly or indirectly implies that she had no control over her emotions, her eating habits and ultimately, her current life-threateningly obese state.

 

I’ve written about this before, and how if we want to get stuff done we need to have an internal locus of control, otherwise our lives will be completely controlled by the whims of others.

 

“Shame followed me everywhere…”

 

Yes, you were cursed by God. Nothing you can do about it.

 

“I noticed that my body was changing…”

 

Yep, it just changed. As if by magic. It just happened. Hahaha. This reminds me of when people get into relationships/marriages/cheat on eachother/have kids “by accident” and the implication is that both parties were just helpless to the almighty “unseen” powers and nobody had a choice in anything.

 

“The magical tooth fairy appeared and cast a spell over us…and it just….well….it just happened! I just couldn’t help it! I just became pregnant. I was SO SHOCKED, I JUST HAD NO IDEA!”

 

Well what did you think was going to happen when you “accidentally” stopped taking the pill, honey?

 

Or; “I just magically GAINED 50 POUNDS! I was so shocked!”

 

Well, when you were sat there at the table at 9:25pm every single night chowing down on cookies and ice cream, did you expect that to make you SKINNY?!?

 

Oh God (chuckle), please help, my sides are actually hurting.

 

“To say that my weight gain was difficult was an understatement”

 

Oh come on you’re not fooling anyone. Gaining weight is great fun. You get to pig out on great food all the time. It’s absolute heaven!

 

Sure, being unattractive isn’t fun. Not having sex with anyone in ten years isn’t fun. Having a half-decent sex life is a pretty basic requirement for self-confidence.

 

But gaining weight?

 

Nah that’s great fun. Stop lying. Losing weight is what is not fun.

 

Long-term vs short-term guys. Gaining weight = short-term happy, long-term miserable because you can’t get laid. Losing weight is very difficult, but remember it’s = short-term less happy, long-term very happy, and frankly, very empowered.

 

You can screech and preach on stage at a TED Talk all you like. But human beings who know they aren’t attractive to the opposite sex always suffer dysfunction of some kind. Some become really passive and withdraw. Others become very aggressive and seek power elsewhere; often in politics or career. Either way it’s bad.

 

“It’s like I had been forced into some social experiement against my will…like I had been forced to put on a fat suit and parade around”

 

Uh, what?

 

Huh?

 

Are you serious?

 

WOW.

 

I’m sorry, but you’ve now taken it to another level. I know you’ve suffered in the past, and for that you have my empathy. Young kids should not have to suffer through bullying.

 

But, I’m sorry, “A social experiment against your will??” Are you completely insane? Do you need locking up in a mental asylum?

 

Take some damn responsibility for your actions! Grow up! If you want to save your life, stop eating so much damn food!

 

Forced?? FORCED?!?

 

For heaven’s sake. If you could epitomise a weak mindset, it would be that right there. This is the mindset that I absolutely despise. It’s the result of, and is actively encouraged by, a Collectivist, Socialist culture, and it absolutely rots the soul. Awful stuff.

 

The one area of your life which you have COMPLETE control over, is your health and fitness:

 

NOBODY CAN FORCE YOU TO EAT MORE FOOD THAN YOU NEED. NOBODY CAN FORCE YOU TO STOP EXERCISING. WE LIVE IN 21ST CENTURY WESTERN CIVILISATION WITH A LOT OF PERSONAL FREEDOMS. WE DON’T LIVE IN NAZI CONCENTRATION CAMPS, THEREFORE DARLING, YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE NOT BEEN FORCED INTO BECOMING ENORMOUS.

 

When talking about a guy that she once went on a date with and she later saw (100 pounds heavier or so):

 

“It was like he looked straight through me. Like I wasn’t there.” 

 

Well duh, looks matter. You can either accept it and play to win, or be miserable. It’s a similar concept to guys who completely resign from dating just to sit on their Xbox’s, all because they can’t accept that women like confident, non-needy, good-looking guys. It’s not that difficult people. Men are biologically wired to like attractive women, whether you like this or not. Women are biologically wired to get turned off by needy, under-confident men, whether you like this or not.

 

Accept reality for what it is.

 

Does Whitney come round eventually and accept reality? Does she lose weight? Does she turn her life around?

 

Stay tuned for part two…

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8 thoughts on “Get Ripped And Stay Ripped – Insights From Women: Part 1”

  1. Binge Eating like anything is a neurological pattern and patterns can be broken. Bulimia and BED are serious issues, but they are fixable. Griping about how others have got it easier is something I did too, until I realised that my excuse was irrelevant and that being lean is something necessary for long term sanity and happiness and no matter how hard it was for me individually, I needed to get it done. Being moderately lean(15%)along with some muscle added to my Delts and arms combined with fitted clothing was enough to get some favourable female attention. This article speaks deeply to me. Waiting eagerly for part 2.

  2. Thanks for your comment Jason.

    Yes I have a fair bit of experience binging (back when I was a really inexperienced dieter), and there’s multiple very real, and very effective ways to counter this. Getting lean is always hard work.

    Well done on finally getting lean. Were there any dietary changes you made, or was it purely psychological?

  3. It seems counterintuitive, but getting leaner is easier with a more busy life and I lost more fat when I was working 14-16 hour workdays as I had no time to worry about food. I did I.F and coffee and also did a few 24 hour fasts. How did you fix your binge eating problem. Could you outline your multiple approaches?

    1. Yeah it definitely can be if it refocuses your attention away from food.

      I also did IF & coffee. But also reducing sugar and “trigger foods”. As weird as it sounds, big bowls of cereal (with lots of sugar) were my “trigger food” years ago.

      Also increasing cardio allowed me to eat more carbs, which prevented me from feeling too deprived.

      Never cutting calories by more than 10% had the same effect. Cutting them by 20%+ just led to horrendous cravings every night.

  4. This was a very interesting article Alex and it had me really thinking all over the map with your opinion/opinions. I hope you get a bit of a chuckle as I did at my own expense.

    I wasn’t sure who this Whitney was but sus’d that it was the gal that annoys the ever loving hell out of me therefore I read your article without seeing the video.

    My opinion of your article BEFORE I seen the video?
    I was thinking you were a wee bit of a judgmental prick (sorry about that, kinda harsh, I’m a bit of a straight shooter). BUT I then had that reoccurring thought, “🤔there’s gotta be something more here. There’s gotta be a reason that he’s not addressing some of the other underlying issues that could be bouncing about. God dammit Alex! Now I have to watch the video to see if you truly are a judgemental ass!”

    Sooooo I watched the video and long and behold it was indeed “You’re ridiculous! Where the hell is the remote?!” Whitney. 20 minutes and 3secs that I’ll never get back. If we ever meet in person Alex, you owe me a drink.

    My opinion AFTER watching the video? I retract my original statement about judgemental prick. You’re spot on and not a jerk at all.

    I, myself, have suffered from anorexia and have a mental disorder that can result in heavy weight gain do to some of the meds. I’ve been on some of those meds and gained a substantial amt of weight in a very short period of time. (I went on a war path yrs ago to find rx’s that didn’t posses this side effect and have lost all said weight)
    I completely agree with you, hold yourself accountable for every decision and thought you have.

    I don’t know whether she has any form of mental disorder, whether it be depression/ocd/bipolar/etc (I honestly don’t think she does, I think she is one of the many that find excuses for their poor choices) but if she does have one, she needs to get help.

    I’ve seen OCD on both sides of the dietary spectrum; bulimia & anorexia to obscenely obese. Both are incredibly serious and scary and if people don’t posses that strong dominant personality for within themselves to get help then they’ve got a fucking wicked mountain to overcome….and even with help it’s a tough go.

    Whitney does somewhat acknowledge she’s made poor choices but doesn’t go into how she’s going to turn her “shame” into something positive.
    With her lack of true self accountability she’s done a great disservice to the people that truly do have more variables at play and do need medical help in order to achieve their goals.

    It’s easy to say, “set realistic goals and do everything in your power to achieve them”, unfortunately that’s just not the way it works all the time. Not for lack of effort, it’s for lack of effort (intentional or not) in the wrong spot from the very beginning. Sometimes the chemicals are just off and that’s all there is to it. (I could have worked out for hrs on end and never achieved the results I wanted w/ the meds I was on. Therefore I researched my ass off to find a solution)

    In Whitney’s case she recognized she feels/felt shame, then kinda recognized why she feels/felt shame but never comes up with a plan to accept shame, THEN HER CONCUR SHAME and then become a healthier Whitney. She’s accepted it for what it is and is just going to live her life as such.

    I truly hope she reads your post and realizes her lack of self accountability.

    I also hope others read this post a pull the self accountability message from it. It may be directed towards Whitney and her ridiculousness but if you look beyond that you can apply it to anything, not just weight gain.

    Once again great article and I apologize for the novel😬!

    ~ I do also want to point out, I’m not saying every bad choice is to be blamed on a mental disorder. It’s just another avenue to look at before anyone passes judgement. I’m saying all that, I firmly believe, even if you’ve made a shit choice and it’s a result of your disorder being thrown off whack, you still have to accept responsibility of said shit choice and figure out a way to accept it. ~

    1. Sweet Jesus! I’ve just reread my response and I sound like a bumbling twit that can’t string 2 sentences together! Frigging autocorrect and lack of sleep!

      “CONQUER HER SHAME”
      ”I also hope others read this post AND pull the self accountability message from it.”

      Sorry about that😬

      1. Hi Amanda, thanks for your novel 🙂

        Yes on the surface, she seems nice enough, innocent enough, and she sounds like an innocent victim. On the surface, my words may seem harsh.

        But the underlying messages are very, very different. Hers are:

        1) Being morbidly obese, with no desire to be healthy is okay.

        2) Men should want her despite being 300 pounds. This may not be 100% clear in the video, but it is on other content she’s written.

        She has written in response to a commenter (who very nicely & tactfully proposed medical intervention):

        “I would only consider that if a doctor told me it was 100% necessary”.

        And doctors won’t.

        This is evidence that she has absolutely no intention of changing, and is all about “feeling beautiful”, which of course won’t last. So yes you absolutely nailed it – there is no talk about how to conquer her shame.

        Therefore my underlying messages are very different to hers:

        1) Accepting responsibility for your actions will prevent your health from being at risk in the first place.

        2) Accepting responsibility for your actions will mean that you have great relationships with the opposite sex, rather than being lonely and angry at them.

        There are indeed certain meds/drugs/hormonal factors that massively influence water retention and bloating, but they DO NOT make you 300 pounds.

        Her messages are very damaging to listeners, readers, watchers, no matter how “nicely” they are put across.

        Everyone is in control of their fitness.

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